COVID19

As I began writing this, we were in week 5 of being told to isolate, and avoid going out if at all possible.  Grocery stores were open, and people were still going.  Few had a mask, and only a few stores were limiting how many people were allowed in at a time.  Restaurants were open, but only to those who wanted their meals delivered, or would pick it up.  No one was allowed to dine out.  Churches were told they were not to have congregations inside their buildings.  Our church, thankfully, has their services broadcast live online.

Now, we are seeing restaurants and shops open back up.  More people are wearing masks when they go out.  And we are caught in a debate.  We were told it wasn't safe to go out unless absolutely necessary.  Nothing has changed.  There is no cure.  There is no vaccine. But now, we are opening back up to try to prevent the entire economy from crashing.

It is a time like no other.  With so much fear in the world, and uncertainty about our future, there are a couple of things that I find comfort in.  We as humans have banded together.  A story a couple of weeks ago talked about China sending respirators to the US.  We are no longer American, Iranian, Chinese...we are in this together.  Don't get me wrong.  I know that won't last.  As soon as this threat begins to wane, we will once again focus on our differences.  Wars will continue, and the hatred will resume.  But for now, we are facing a common enemy.  And if we don't work together, we all suffer.

As I look around at what is happening, I find more comfort than ever.  Not in humanity, in spite of how we are working together right now.  I find my comfort in God alone.

I turned 54 this year.  And each year brings me one step closer to the end of this journey, and into the next.  And each year, I find less and less in this world that I can trust in.  And I truly believe, if God came to me right now, and offered another 50 years of relatively healthy life, or to take me home today, I know what I would choose.  Not because I have lost my joy.  Not because there aren't a hundred things I still want to see and do.  But because I think about what joys this life has to offer.  And although SO many of them are wonderful, they simply can't compare. And as we struggle through the unknown post-COVID world, I find less joy here, and more there.

The GREATEST comfort I can find is in knowing that GOD is in control.  You aren't.  I'm not.  President Trump isn't.  The World Health Organization isn't.

Psalm 94:19 - "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

My Day in Court

Writing as a Christian, I know I have accepted Christ's blood as a payment for my sin.  I have been accepted into His family, without spot or blemish.  Christ has made payment for my sin with His atoning death.  It is faith in Him, and what He has done for me that help me get through so many trials in this life.  So what happens at the end of my life?

I'm in court, and I'm accused of all kinds of crimes.  The prosecuting attorney is a being by the name of Lucifer.  And he's good.  He somehow knows everything I've ever done.  He approaches the judge with evidence of every crime I have ever committed from the time I was born.

I know I'm guilty.  My attorney knows I'm guilty.  The judge and jury know I'm guilty.  There is no refuting the evidence that has been shown.  My mind races with excuses.

"But my mother was mean to me.  I was bullied.  At least I wasn't as bad as...."

It's no use.  There are no excuses.  I knew what I was doing.  And so many times, I had that little voice, telling me not to do it.  But I didn't care.  In that moment, I wanted to disobey.  There had been something exciting about being bad.  And here I was, on trial for so many things.  I don't dare look around the room.  I keep my eyes on my fidgeting feet.  I don't want to see the anger and hurt in everyone's eyes.

My attorney puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me everything will be okay.

How can he say that, I wonder.  Everyone knows I did all of those things.

"In light of the evidence," continues Lucifer, "I submit that this man is worthy of the death penalty."

Gasps spread throughout the courtroom.

"And," he continues, "he is also worthy of incarceration in a place created for the eternal punishment for all who are guilty of such crimes."

Death.

The word hits a lot harder than I expected.  I'm not really sure why.  I knew that's what he was going to try for.  My attorney had already told me that, and "prepared me" for the outcome.

How could I be prepared for this?  

Death.  

I know I deserve it.  

Death.  

Why did I do all those stupid things?  If I had only....

My attorney looks at me and manages a small smile.  But I can see the pain in his eyes.

Lucifer pauses, as he looks at me for a moment.  There is a small smile there as well.  And there is a gleam in his eye that cuts through my very soul.

Panic wells deep inside, and I can feel myself losing hope.  The hot, prickly sensation starts around my eyes, and quickly spreads to the rest of my face.

He's got me.  He knows it.  It's over.

"The prosecution rests," Lucifer says, and he sits down smugly.

He's won, I think to myself.  My attorney told me to trust him.  He said it would all be okay.  I had told him about the things I had done.  He assured me he would take care of it.  But the prosecution had brought up things I had not told my attorney about.  Things I had never told anyone.  Things I had forgotten I had even done.  

I had disappointed so many people.  I had hurt so many people.  I had failed the one chance I had been given at this thing called life.  And now I was about to hear my attorney plead my case.  But what could he say?  There was no excusing my behavior.  I had known better.  Sure, there were the little white lies that had been told.  So what?  And there were countless others that I had excused because "everyone did them."  But some of the that were brought out into the light in the courtroom were so hideous, I just knew everyone there must hate me.

The judge looks at me for a moment.  Is that contempt in his eye?  Pity?  Disgust?  Wrath?

My attorney rises.

Here we go.

"Father," He begins, "this is my child.  I have chosen him.  You have chosen him.  He is ours.  And I have already paid the price, and taken the punishment for his sin."

"Objection, Your Honor," Lucifer interrupts, quickly standing.

The majestic Judge looks at Lucifer.

"Overruled," He says.  

"But Your Honor," Lucifer tries again, "he also..."

"Silence!" The Judge says.

His voice fills the courtroom with the sound of a thousand thunders.  Like sitting next to the speakers at a too-loud concert, the deep resonance vibrates every cell in my body.  Suddenly, I see The Judge surrounded by an aura of light that I had never even comprehended.  It fills the courtroom with such magnificence that it must be shining right through the walls, and filling the entire universe.

The Judge looks at me, and suddenly, I understand the look in His eyes.  It isn't pity or wrath, only... it is.  And it was every other feeling I had ever known.  And they are all bundled together, and wrapped up completely in love.

I suddenly understood what I had heard, but never knew until that very moment.  His contempt was for the sin, not for me.  His wrath was against the disobedience I had lived.  But right then, when He looked at me, I could see that love had conquered the sin.  His wrath had already been expressed.  It had been poured out on my Attorney over two thousand years ago.  The love is so deep and so true, I can no longer stand.

I'm aware of my body going prostrate before Him.  Although it seem involuntary, I wouldn't fight it even if I thought I could.  As I glance over, I see the entire room has joined me.  Including the prosecution table.  But their reactions are different.

Deep growling sounds now leave the mouth of the sharp dressed attorney.  He looks at me, and the hatred in his eyes sends a shudder down my spine.   Guttural hissing sounds are thrown my way, and I would be terrified if it weren't for one thing.  My Attorney stands between me and the horrid creature being forced to his knees by an unseen force.  This Attorney had been so calm through everything, I often wondered if He would be tough enough to do me any good.  And in this wonderful, terrible moment, He still stood so calmly, and serenely.  It filled me with a peace I have never known.

And I understand.

It had been explained to me many times.  That God was a judge, requiring me to be punished, and Jesus came and rescued me.  God sent Jesus to pay the price.  God loved me.  He isn't a terrible being, hoping to crush us, and only allowing grace because of what Christ did on the cross.  He is a loving, merciful God who wants us to spend our eternities in the beautiful place He has prepared for us.

Don't misunderstand...He is also a just God.  And sin will not be tolerated.  Without the blood of Christ, who offered Himself as a sacrifice to atone for our sin, we are lost.  Separated from God for eternity.

But this trial wasn't for God to judge me.  It wasn't for a jury to decide if I was guilty or innocent.  Everyone knew I was guilty.  It wasn't to decide on a punishment.  The punishment was already decided.  Eternity in Hell.  Separated eternally from the loving God who had created me.  But that price was paid when Christ died on the cross.  He endured the wrath of God as a punishment for my sin.

This trial wasn't even for me to see how much God loved me, or show His mercy.

This trial was to once again put Satan in his place.

My eternity is secured.

Your day in the courtroom is coming.

Who is your attorney?

11:00 PM, Monday, December 31st, 2012

It is 11:00 on the last night of the year 2012. As so many do on this day, I sit reflecting on the year past, and think about the coming year.

2012 brought stories of sadness, and anger. Jerry Sandusky showed us that even in the halls of schools, those who are chosen to guide and protect students are capable of horrible atrocities. There was the fall of General David Petraeus, showing that even heroes are capable of falling. And, of course, there were the 20 innocent children gunned down in their classrooms.

It seems every year, news stories grow colder and bleaker. More pain, more death, and more suffering. It's easy to feel little hope for the future.

Being a Christian, I read the Bible, and I know that the end will come one day. I can't imagine it will be too many more years (or months), before God decides He has had enough. And in spite of things I look forward to living and experiencing, I'm ready.

Yet, I'm called to be light and salt to the world around me. How can I be light when there is so much darkness? How can I possibly help people find hope when despair seems to fill each day?

In my quiet time, I pray for guidance and words. As my wife could attest, I'm not a very good communicator. This is evidenced by the fact that I average one blog posting about every four months. But I want to be able to communicate hope to those around me, especially when they are suffering. That's where I find some of my comfort.

When I feel down about what might be happening in my life, I look around, and realize there are so many people who have it so much worse than I do. When I complain about having a bad day at work, I look around and realize there are a lot of people who only wish they had a job to go to. And there are those who don't have the health to get out of bed, much less keep a job. In doing this, I find a perspective that brings me hope.

So to be uplifting, I should tell you about all of the wonderful things the New Year can bring. New, exciting changes in science or medicine. Maybe the economy will turn around this year. But we can't control much of that, so let's look at what we can control.

Every new year, we make resolutions that we have every intention of keeping. What is on your list? Maybe you will stick with your resolution to eat healthier this year. Maybe you will exercise five times a week the way you have tried to in the past few years. Maybe it's the year you choose to go back to school to finish a degree. Whatever your resolution, you make them for one reason. To try to make this year better than previous years.

So will this year be better? That depends on you. Not so much whether or not you make, or keep, your resolutions. That can in its own way, make you feel better about yourself. But when you are surrounded by news stories, will you feel discouraged, or will you be able to find peace?

It isn't like there is going to be a drastic change in the events that unfold around us. There will still be favorite people who we have put up on a pedestal who let us down. There will always be news stories about senseless killings of innocent people. Most nightly news will NOT be uplifting, happy stories. And if we rely on news stations to help us find peace, or even happiness, we will forever be unsettled.

What I hear when news stories tell us about the disasters, or horrible acts of people, are also stories of everyday heroes. The teacher who hid her students, saving many of their lives. Among the worst people, there are also the best people. In putting others ahead of themselves, they bring a ray of hope in the darkness of horrible acts.

I've often said that at the end of my life, if there are a handful of people who can truly say that their lives are better because of me, then my life has been worthwhile. Yet I realize there has been a lot of time I've spent worrying about what is going on in my life...to me. In 2013, I hope to truly live more for others, and less for myself. When I put others ahead of myself, I find peace. And when I'm suffering, the quickest way to feel better is to do something for someone else. Counterintuitive, I know.

But when we open our eyes to others, we learn that there are people all around who are hurting. When we spend all of our time looking down at our own feet, wondering how we will make it through whatever mess we are facing, we miss a great opportunity. When we help others, we help ourselves.

May each of us find more time in 2013. More time to spend in prayer. More time to read and study the Bible. Time to say thank you to a police officer; a firefighter; a soldier; a sailor. Time to help a neighbor rake his leaves. Time to just listen to those around us when they need to talk. Time to make our little corner of the world a little bit brighter for those around us.

God bless you in 2013.

 

Our Youth

So this past Saturday, I was part of the Bill Glass Prison Ministry team that went into several youth facilities in the DFW area.

There were four campuses that were visited in Dallas County. These ranged from non-fenced centers designed to help troubled youth get their lives straightened out, to facilities holding sentenced youth before they are sent to an actual prison. A youth convicted of a crime will not be sent to prison until he is at least seventeen. Until they reach that age, they are kept at one of the youth facilities.

So we were spent the day with kids from broken homes, many of whom had been involved in gangs. Sitting across from a kid with gang tattoos up and down his arms breaks something inside. Somehow, you go from looking at a kid like this as a punk, to seeing someone facing a life of consequences due to his choices.

They earn points through the day to gain privileges. If they don't have enough points, they don't even get to have a visitor. When they get to a certain level, their family can come visit with them on a Saturday afternoon. Another level lets them go home to visit on a Saturday. Eventually, they can work up to a 48-hour release to live at home during the weekend.

One kid earned that privilege, and went home at 6 PM on Friday, only to be dropped off early Saturday morning because his mother had to work all weekend. He played it tough, like he didn't care a lot, but you know it had to hurt him. But mom doesn't have a choice. Most of these kids come from single-parent homes...or worse.

They know they need to turn their lives around, but when one chooses to open up, and admit he needs help, he is often ridiculed or persecuted by the others. Show compassion, or weakness, and you are called "friendly." I never thought that was a bad thing until I heard one of them discuss it. He said he was trying to pray, and read his Bible, but the others picked on him a lot. At least he was trying.

Most of the kids have no hope for themselves. We can come in and talk to them for a day about how we care about them, and they can have a better life for themselves when they get out. But as you talk, you see their eyes, looking around the room in total apathy. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. In their voices, you hear no concern, no hope, and no desire for anything other than to get this over with.

Some decisions were made. In our unit, there were 14 who accepted the Gospel. Out of those, I only personally spoke with two. Only God truly knows, but they seemed to only be going through the motions because they thought they were supposed to. Out of the fourteen, I hope there were at least a couple who were sincere. If nothing else, they were given Bible studies, and will be followed up with by the Chaplain of the unit.

Without the hope, and a changed life, these kids will be more statistics in a database. They get out, only to come back. And the crimes may go from stealing or drugs to much worse as they grow. They will go back to the same homes, in the same neighborhoods, surrounded by the same kids. And they will likely slip back into the same life they had before.

My part was easy. Spend one Saturday, offering hope and an answer to those who need it most. Driving home, I wasn't able to feel I had "done my part". Leaving a campus of youth, most of whom have no hope for tomorrow.

The one day I spent left images and discussions that broke through, and showed me what "life" is really like for some.

God help them. And help us, as Your people, to not turn our backs on them. Never let us write them off as untouchable. Give us the courage to share the grace you have given to us. And help us to remember we are no more deserving of Your grace than they are.