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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

AT&T U-Verse

I hate Charter. 

Being a Christian, hate is a term I really shouldn't use.  But somehow, "I strongly dislike Charter" just didn't seem to capture the depth.

Two and a half years ago, we moved from Grapevine to North Richland Hills, TX.  In Grapevine, I had Verizon FIOS.  It was awesome.  Fiber directly to the house, incredible speed, and in the two years I had that service, I only had them out twice.  Neither time took more than ten or fifteen minutes to fix, and I was back up and running.

North Richland Hills isn't part of Verizon's coverage area.  Bummer.  In fact, when we moved in, the only company that offered anything other than dish was Charter.  I only thought I hated Charter.  Finally, one day I saw that AT&T offered U-Verse in our area.  I couldn't change over quick enough.  And, on top of everything else, they gave us $250 back.  It couldn't get any better than that, right?

Wrong.

AT&T came and got everything hooked up, and ten minutes after they left, I turned the TV to one of the music channels.  I went to the bedroom, and turned on the same channel, and they both froze.  Odd.  So I changed one to another channel, and they both came back on. 

"Why can't you watch the same channel in two rooms at the same time?" I wondered.

In less than a week, I had my answer.  It had nothing to do with what channel it was on.  I was all about the fact that U-Verse has an issue with the picture freezing. 

"The Cowboys a first down at the Eagle's forty with just over four minutes left."


"And the Eagles cap a successful drive with the extra point, and it's Eagles 21, the Cowboys 14 at the two minute warning."

"What happened?!?"

Getting involved in a Criminal Minds episode, and just at the most exciting part, the picture freezes.  It comes back on and they are in their plane, ending the show. 

I only thought I hated Charter.  Turns out, I was only aggravated at them.

I hate AT&T.

So I call their service department, and, first off, you have to go through one of those stupid auto attendants.

Recording:  "I see you are calling from 214-555-1212.  Is this the number on your U-Verse account."

Me:  "No."

Recording:  "Okay.  Please give me the phone number associated with your U-Verse account, or you can say, 'I don't have one'."

Me:  "I don't have one."

Recording:  "Okay.  Give me your U-Verse account number, your primary social security number, or the first thirty-seven prime numbers in descending order in Ancient Aramaic."

Me:  "I...what?"

Recording:  "I'm sorry, that was not a valid response.  Please wait while I locate a thirteen year old who is sitting in their living room playing X-box to assist you.  Don't worry that they are only thirteen.  They won't be able to help you anyway.  And thank you for being a valued AT&T customer."

Me:  "Great, now I need another cell phone."

So the first guy who came out replaced the connections in the attic, and the connections outside.

"That should fix the problem," he said as he was leaving. 

It worked flawlessly for almost an hour. 

So we lived with it for a couple more weeks before I called back to go through the same frustrating experience. 

The second guy told me he changed out all the connections outside, and in the attic, and my problem should be solved.

I don't think he appreciated the fine art of scoffing I was trying to entertain him with.

"The last guy who came out said he changed out all that stuff," I explained.

"Hmm."

This guy gave me his card, and said the problem should be fixed. 

"Call me if it happens again."

So ten minutes later, I dialed his number.  He came back out.  He said he needed to check the box in the neighbor's yard, and then down the street.

I never saw him again.  But it was okay for a week or so.

The third guy who came out replaced the modem.  It froze before he ever left.  So he also drilled another hole in my wall, and ran a new cable from the outside box to the modem inside. 

"Well, that will fix your issue," he assured me. 

He also was underimpressed with my scoffing ability, which was becoming quite polished by then.

It froze an hour after he was gone.  I called back, and got his voicemail.  (surprise).  I never heard back.

The next time I mustered the strength to call, I told them in no uncertain terms that the next time I called, I would be telling them their equipment was sitting in a box on my curb, and if they wanted it, they should come get it.  That was several months ago.

The problem seemed better in the last couple of months.  It only froze once every other day or so, and usually only for a minute or two.  Until this last week.

It was out all day, but started working when I got home and reset the modem.  Saturday, I reset the modem five times before calling them.  They set up a tech to come out between 4 and 9.  No one ever showed up, and no one ever called me to tell me they weren't going to show up.  They are supposed to be out today between 12 and 4.  I'm sure he will replace the connections in the attic, and outside, and tell us it should be fixed.

The next time I take a day off, I'm switching back to Charter.  Have I mentioned how much I love Charter?

Compared to AT&T, at least.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious!!! Well, I'm sure not to you, but to your readers, this is great stuff! Sort of ironic, I'm about to leave work to meet the Directv guy at my house between 12-4. :/ Good luck man! Hopefully this time when they replace all connections in your attic, outside, under the house, on top of the roof, inside your car door, behind your toilet, under the stove, and beside the 3rd chair on the left in your dining room, the problem will be fixed! ;)

    Mike

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