Copper Trays and Moon-Monster

A random memory crossed my mind the other day while watching someone walk through a parking lot, pointing their iPad around the lot.  I assume they were videoing their walk to the car, but I'm not really sure why. 

It struck me as funny until the following memory came back. 

I'm not sure how old I was when I started, but I vividly remember recreating the scene when I was an older teenager.  I think I wanted to remember how much fun it was, or maybe to try to remember what it was that made it fun in the first place.

We had a polished copper tray when I was growing up.  My older brother, Stuart, discovered if you carried the tray while walking, you could look into the tray, and it reflected the ceiling.  It gave an illusion of walking on the ceiling; which for a child was quite entertaining.  At least for this child, it was.  We had a cathedral ceiling in the living room, and it was quite funny watching Stuart reach the edge of the dining room, and lift his foot to step over the drop before falling up (down?) to the ceiling above...below.............??  I'm sure I looked even funnier.

Keep in mind, (those of you born after 1980), we didn't have video games at that age.  When I was older, I got Pong for Christmas.  Google it, and laugh at how "sad" our lives were.  If we wanted to play, we had to use our imaginations.  I'm sure at some point, I said, "I'm bored," but I never remember that.  One of the reasons for that is my brother, Stuart. 

He was great at inventing games.  We bowled with tennis balls and empty toilet paper rolls in the bedroom hall; smashed Lego cars to see who could build the most indestructible one (guess who won that one); and he invented a clever, evil game to play at night.

One of us would start in the kitchen, and the other in the bedroom.  All of the lights in the house were turned out, and we would slowly start walking toward each other.  The purpose was to scare the other one.  (Guess who always won that game, too).  Obviously, that one was played when we were alone. 

Then there was Moon-Monster, which was an outside game.  One person has a tennis ball, soccer ball, etc., and they are "it".  They yell freeze, and everyone else has to stop.  They throw it at someone, and if they hit them, that person picks up the ball.  Everyone else can run away from the ball until the person picks it up and yells, "Freeze!".  If the thrower misses, he has to run and get the ball while everyone else runs from it.  We usually played that on the side of the house.  Once, we played in our neighbors back yard, where he had mowed paths in the uncut grass, so you had to stay on the path.

I have said often that I would not go back to those days for anything.  There were so many heavy things going on that I would never want to re-live.  But I also remember the fun times, and the silly things we did to entertain ourselves. 

I don't often thank people enough for the things they have done.  I'm sure I would not have made it without Stuart.  Teaching me how to "cook" Ravioli and SpaghettiOs, inventing games to keep me from getting bored and fat, and just being there for me helped keep me going.  I would say sane, but those who know me know I lost that battle long ago.

So thank you, Stuart.  For finding fun in a copper tray.  For finding interesting things to do when there was nothing available but an empty yard and a ball.  For teaching me things I needed to know to take care of myself.  And for always being there for me when I needed you.

I love you.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female He created them. – Genesis 1:27

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. – Psalm 139:14

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. – Proverbs 16:9

How often have we looked in the mirror, and decided we weren’t happy with what we saw?  How often have we told God we aren’t happy with who we are?  How many times have we grumbled that we didn’t have the gifts someone else had?  How many times have we felt inferior because we didn’t think we were good enough; smart enough; strong enough?

All power rests in God’s hands.  He certainly could have made me 6’4” handsome, strong and smart.  But He (in His infinite wisdom that I too often distrust or second guess) created me to be exactly what I am.  I have spent a lot of time over my life wondering what it would be like to be different.  To have the strength I wish I had.  To be smarter that I am.  To be taller, better looking, more outgoing, etc.  Yet I get out of bed most mornings, struggle to get through a day, and wish things were different.

But where would I be? 

Maybe in a nicer house, with less money issues, a better job, etc. 

But if I were not exactly who I am (and who I have been, where I have been, when I have been there), the blessings I have been given may have been missed.

I wouldn’t trade all I have wished I were for what I have now.

Thank you, God, for making me who I am.  Help me to hear your voice; feel your presence, and trust your spirit.  Make me who you have created me to be.  Erase all of what I think I should be, or wish I were.  Thank you for the gifts I have.  Help me to use them the way you intended.  Make this New Year a year of following you closer than I ever have.  Living for you, as you guide my steps to make a difference in the world through me and my life.