Teaching an Old Dog a New Trick

Where did the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," come from?

I did some looking, and found the phrase is incredibly old.  In fact, one source claimed that in the 1500's, it was known as an old saying.  I started to dig deeper, and suddenly realized I didn't care.

But after spending 23 years in the technical field, telecommunications, computers and networking, I found myself out of work.  It was pretty upsetting at first.  I knew God was going to take care of me; that was not a concern.  But I had once again found myself at a crossroads.  And it was again time to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I've known a handful of people who "have always known" what they wanted to be.  Some who wanted to be a nurse, or a lawyer grew up to become just that.  But it seems like the majority of those I know are working in a field that chose them, not the other way around.  I never chose computers; they chose me.  

I had worked as a busboy, waiter, cashier, assembly line worker, inspector, driver, etc.  I had worked everything from fast food to a defense contractor.  When my holiday stint as a driver for UPS ended, a friend from church asked if I knew anything about phones.  

"Absolutely," I replied.  "I can make calls, answer calls, pick up the phone, hang up the phone, use a phone book...I could go on..."

He owned a telecommunications company, and hired me.  After almost five years, I left to join another company in a help desk position, working on computers and the network.  During times of unemployment through the years, I wondered if I wanted to get back into the computer field.  But I was seldom out of work for long.  Technology is always advancing, and there is always a need.

When I lost my job at the age of 49, I started looking into another computer job, mainly with the titles of Network Administrator, or Applications Administrator.  After all, that's what I had been doing for the last 20 years.  It only stood to reason that I was most suited for a job doing the same thing.  And in spite of the fact that I didn't really choose that line of work, it had been a decent living for me.  

After almost four months of unemployment, and searching for a job full-time, a friend at church (is there a pattern here?), told me about a company hiring a couple of people in his school district.  He didn't know anything about the company or the jobs they were hiring for, but he gave me the name of the company.  On a whim, I looked them up, saw they were hiring for the position of Energy Specialist.

"I wonder what that even means," I wondered.

Looking through information on the company website, it sounded interesting, but nothing like anything I had ever done.  I had no experience at all.  

"I can't do that," the familiar thought came.  "But I might as well submit an application anyway."

That was in February, 2016.  I went for an information session, and learned more about the company, what they did, and what they were looking for.  It was interesting.  But I was sitting with 30 other people, and all of them looked to me like better candidates.  When they called me for a second session, and told me it was an actual interview, I was a little surprised.  

I went to the interview, and was asked a couple of questions, and then they were done.  It felt like little more than a formality.  Like they were giving interviews to everyone just to be polite.  They thanked me for my time, and I went back home, knowing that was the last I would hear from them unless they actually sent an email or letter, telling me they had hired someone else.

A couple of weeks later, I received a call with a job offer.  It was quite a bit less than I had been making, but more than I was expecting.  But I still had no idea what the job would entail.

They had told me it would be a lot of hours in the beginning.  My first week was spent in training.  And for the first five or six weeks of working in the district, I averaged 70-80 hours.  Six months in, and it has settled to between 50 and 60 hours a week.  

So what is it I do?  Thank you for asking.  I know you are incredibly interested in everything I do.  (that was sarcasm for those of you who don't know me well).

I am an Energy Specialist in a local school district.  My company places Energy Specialists in school districts to help them save money on their energy costs.  Instead of spending money on utilities, we free up that money so it can be put back into the education system.  I won't bore everyone (all 5 or 10 people who actually read this) with all of the details.  There is a lot to what I do every day.  Years ago, someone made a comment about working with kids.

"It's like trying to hold 20 ping pong balls under water all at once."

I now understand that saying.  Between getting bills entered, checking the data, scheduling events, verifying building usage for those events, working with consultants when they come in to the office, working with the staff at all nineteen of my campuses, tracking utility usage, working with the AC guys to get issues resolved, and working on comfort issues at each campus, I frequently find myself looking at the clock, and wondering where the day went.  Then I look at the list of things left to do, and it doesn't look any shorter.  And then there are the 20-25 audits I have to do each week on the buildings.  Most of those have to be done when the buildings are unoccupied.  So, during the school year, I sometimes get up and going at 5 AM to do a couple before people get there.  I work some in the evenings after they have gone.  And my Saturdays and Sundays are spent walking campuses.

We were having dinner with my brother and sister-in-law a few months ago, and he asked my wife what she thought of the long hours I was working.  

"I think it's great," she replied.

I thought about being hurt by that comment, but she explained that it had been years since I had come home in a really good mood.  And I had already told them that in spite of working 70-80 hours, I had more energy than I had felt in a long time.  Yes, I'm tired, and I haven't had a real day off except for a weekend we went to see my son in Seattle back in July.  But it has been great.  The work feels much more fulfilling, though I'm not really sure why.

I think I'm much better suited to this job (or it is better suited to me).  And in spite of the massive amounts of learning (old dog new trick) that is involved, I have been incredibly impressed with the support they provide.  They hire the best of the best for their consultants.  So many of them retired from careers in HVAC or engineering, and were then hired by our company.  We have the best people in the industry at our fingertips.  

They all have said, "If you have any questions, give me a call."  

Unlike others, who say they are there to help, and then are unavailable any time you need them, I have never had trouble getting in touch with any of them.  And they are always happy and willing to help.  So much of what I'm doing involves working on systems I've never known anything about before.  But the best and brightest are always a phone call or email away.  They may be on a plane at the time, but they always respond as soon as they can.  And they patiently take the time to help.

So I'm learning you can teach an old dog new tricks.  If you are willing to devote the time and effort necessary to actually teach.

Thank you, Mark for telling me about this job.

Thank you to my company, for giving me a chance.

Thank you to my wife, for understanding the long, often strange hours.

And thank you, LORD, for orchestrating everything necessary to lead me here.

Are You Compatible?

I have to admit; I hate the ads.

You know the ones.

"I can get a date myself," the girl exclaims.

"How's that working for you?"

She remembers her bad dates, and decides she needs to sign up.

They have questions you fill out and it tells you who you are compatible with.  I guess that makes sense, but I think they are missing the bigger picture.  And I think the vast majority of people have fallen right in line behind them, and accepted what they say.

If I were to think of my wife and I, I'm not sure we would be all that compatible if we were to take a test.  I love shooting, four-wheeling, watching football and UFC.  She wants shopping, wine and HGTV.  I would love to own a motorcycle to cruise around on.  She thinks that's the worse idea ever.  My idea of the best vacation spots are the Western desert states.  I love Arizona and Utah.  Her first choice would be a week sitting on a beach somewhere.

But what I've learned about compatibility doesn't match E-Harmony's philosophy, and maybe not even common sense.  My wife and I are compatible because we choose to be.  She still doesn't want me to get a motorcycle, and I still can't picture her enjoying shooting.  But we find things we enjoy doing together.  Yes, there are times I watch football downstairs, while she and her mother watch HGTV upstairs.  Or I may go to the range while they go get their nails done.  But the majority of the time, we watch shows together that we both enjoy.  She loves shopping.  Like most men, I don't shop; I hunt.  I know what I'm looking for, and I go get it.  Done.  (Unless it's a Cabela's or Bass Pro).  But I spend some afternoons at the mall with her, shopping.  I make fun of some of the clothes I see, or act silly about things.  And I do it because I'm having fun.  I'm with my beautiful wife, walking around a mall.  And she enjoys it.  So I have learned to enjoy it also.

I'm not a big Steely Dan fan.  But she got tickets to a concert, and I had a great time.  The music was pretty good.  The fact that we were in a suite made it much more fun.  But the best part was just spending time with her, doing something she really wanted to do.  I'm not a bed and breakfast kind of guy.  I'm much more comfortable in a Holiday Inn than a Betty-Bird's Bungalow.  But I have surprised her with a couple of weekend trips out of town.  Once was to a bed and breakfast in Jefferson, TX.  (Also a place I likely would not have chosen to go).  But I had a wonderful weekend.  We also stayed at Biscuit Hill B&B.  Again, not what I would choose, but I had a great time with her. She has surprised me with tickets to a concert for Andrea Bocelli, whom I absolutely love.  Years ago, she suggested we go to Putt Putt and go kart riding.  Absolutely not her style, but it was fun.  I assume she enjoyed it.  I know I did.

"Well, why should I spend time doing things I would not normally choose to do, if I can answer questions, and find someone who already loves doing what I love doing?"

When I was fifteen, I worked in a steakhouse.  Every night for break, several of the workers would sit together and have dinner.  Most of us would have baked potatoes (because they were free).  I had mine with butter and bacon bits.  Everyone else topped theirs with butter and sour cream.  I hated sour cream.  At least I thought I did.  But they made it look so good.  After trying it, I realized I loved my potato with more than just butter.

Sure, I could have chosen to not eat with people who put sour cream on their potatoes.  But I might not have ever realized how much better my potato could be.

So now I've compared my wife to sour cream.  Guess I'll be sleeping in the guest room tonight.

Why are there so many restaurants?  Because there are so many different tastes.  If you went to a restaurant where they only served cedar plank salmon with asparagus, how often would you go there?  If that was your favorite meal, it would be fine; for awhile at least.  But how long would they stay in business?

I have my list of favorite restaurants.  Some of them are also on my wife's list.  But some aren't.  So we may go to my choice one time, and hers another.

And it's not really even about compromise.

To me, compromise is about settling for something that neither of you really wanted, just so you can both accept the decision.  I want a nice steak for dinner, and she wants just vegetables or a salad.  A compromise would be eating at a restaurant that has okay steak and decent vegetables, so we can both sort of get what we want.

Compatibility may be about branching out to find a new restaurant neither of us might have ever tried.  And we might not like one or two that we try.  But the point is to choose to enjoy the search together.  Eventually, we can find somewhere that has great steak, and great vegetables.  We both enjoy the meal, and neither had to settle.

It's all about the journey.

We like to laugh about our "adventures".  It seems any time we do something, all kinds of things go wrong.  But we have learned to laugh about it.  Maybe not right in the moment, but later, it is a reminder that we can have fun, even when things aren't going as planned.

We went to Seattle in July to visit my son.  One afternoon, while he was still at work, we spent the day in the city.  We tried a do nut shop we had seen on a show we like to watch.  (One I would not originally have considered watching, but learned I loved it after watching it a few times).  After the do nut shop, we rode the monorail to the Space Needle.  Then we rode the monorail back.  It was a simple matter to find the garage we had parked in.

We must have walked six miles, trying to find the parking garage.  I was frustrated, because I have always had a great sense of direction.  But we spent a good two hours, trying to find the car.  My wife was patient, and didn't gripe at all.  That was a great thing because I was griping enough at myself to cover both of us.  We finally found the garage, and the car.  And it became something we laughed about (later).

Before our first date, if you had told my wife that I would drag her up and down the streets of Seattle for two or three hours trying to find the car, she may have decided I wasn't for her.  If you told me before our first date that she was a beach-lover who loved shopping and watching HGTV, I might have wondered how compatible we might be.  Like any relationship, we learn and grow together.  We could have allowed the differences to push us apart, and decide we just weren't compatible.  The vast majority of people would understand.

Some areas in our lives were compatible.  Some were not.  But instead of focusing on the areas that were not, we focused on those that were at first.  And along the way, we have created compatibility.

"Life's too short to be unhappy."

I agree completely.

So I choose to be happy.  And I choose to do it with my wife.  Does she occasionally irritate me?  Sure.  Do I ever aggravate her?  I absolutely drive her up the wall.

But here we are, nineteen plus years into the marriage.  And we are far more compatible than we were even a couple of years ago.

It doesn't just happen.

Compatibility = work.

We have the misconception that love should be easy.  If it is hard, it wasn't meant to be.  And we use the "we just aren't compatible" as a shortcut to get out of a situation that may be a little uncomfortable, or isn't "fun" at the moment.

"We have irreconcilable differences."

Really?  You can't reconcile?  Or you refuse to because it isn't fun anymore?  Someone else might be more compatible.

The next time you are having a tough day at work, just quit.

You need to lose a few pounds?  Well, diet and....wait that isn't fun.  Just keep eating donuts and pizza, and enjoy life.

In either scenario, you end up miserable anyway.  Quit your job, and you can't pay your bills, and you lose your home.  Eat whatever you want, and ankles, knees, hips and back hurt, and you are at risk of a heart attack.

That doesn't sound fun at all to me.

Life is a journey.  We want to enjoy the view from the top of the mountain.  But on the way, it will be hard work.  If we persevere, we will be rewarded.

I get to learn about my wife on this journey.  Who she is, and what she likes, and doesn't.

We have chosen to create compatibility.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Fall

It is now September 23rd, two days after the official start of Autumn.  This is my favorite time of the year.

As a child, it meant the start of a new school year.  I didn't do particularly well in school, so it wasn't that I loved the studying or learning aspect of it.  But I loved getting to see friends again.  And I loved the excited feeling of beginning a new grade.

In high school, it meant the start of hunting season.  I've never been much of a hunter, really.  Actually, I don't classify myself as any kind of hunter.  Our hunting trips usually meant shooting our limit of coke cans and plastic bottles.  But I loved being outdoors, camping and shooting.  And I loved hanging out with my best friend, Dewayne (everyone called him Bubba).  I loved the early morning campfires, and the cold in my face.  Some of my favorite memories were of those trips to his family's land in Brownsboro.

It also meant the arrival of my favorite holidays.  I loved Halloween (I still do), and Christmas was my very favorite, for obvious reasons.  Presents, certainly, but it was so much more.  I love the festive lights and decorations; the pretty Christmas tree; and the fact that most of the family seemed happier during that time.

It meant my brother, Stuart, and I would begin our tradition of wrapping each other's presents in a way that disguised what might be inside.  Sometimes, that meant wrapping a coin he wanted to add to his collection inside a shoe box, with a large rock, and some thumbtacks in a Sucrets can.  Other times, I meant wrapping a small box in a larger box, in a larger box, etc.  And each one had to be individually wrapped to prolong the joy of unwrapping.

And the night before Christmas meant Stuart and I would be in our bunk beds, guessing what Santa had brought us.  When we were really young, it also meant a middle of the night trip to creep out through the hallways and peak, long before mom or dad were awake.  We didn't walk right in to see everything...just a tiny sliver of it.  Then at 6:00, when we had permission to wake them, it was off to dad's room to wake him, and then to mom's.  And we had to wait until they had a cup of coffee before we hurried to the front room, where Christmas was waiting.

I know a lot of people have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all around on Christmas morning. We only had the four of us.  But I never felt cheated.

Eggnog was also one of my favorite things about Christmas.  As an adult, I'm thankful it is only a Christmas-time treat.  If it were available all year, I would either grow sick of it, or weight 800 pounds.  Or both.

A lot of people like Fall, for various reasons.  The changing of the leaves is one I hear a lot.  Living in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, we don't have as many tress as a lot of places, but I do enjoy the different colors around this time of year.

People here like the the Stock Show and Rodeo, and the State Fair.  I've never been to the Stock Show.  And I've only been to the Fair three or four times in my life.  I'm an animal lover, but the Stock Show just never seemed interesting to me.  Rodeos are kind of fun, and I've been to several, but not at the Stock Show.  The Fair can be fun, but I usually feel it is too crowded, and expensive, to warrant the hassle.  Granted, if my wife decides she wants to go, I'm game.  And I will have fun once I get there.  The few things I enjoy at the Fair are the car pavilions, the animals, and of course, the food.  Way overpriced, and just about as unhealthy as anything you could eat, some of the items are found nowhere else but the Fair.  And they deserve an entire blog all to themselves.  All that being said, I seldom feel a loss if I don't go.

My wife loves Fall because it means Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks.  I love pumpkin pie, but never found a taste for the PSL, as she longingly refers to her favorite coffee flavor.  And since the introduction several years ago, everyone seems to have jumped on the pumpkin spice bandwagon.  PS candy, gum, candles, snack cakes, Pop-Tarts....I was playing around on the Internet, building a Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, and it has the option of a pumpkin spice lift-kit.  Well, it doesn't, but I might suggest it.  At least PS wheels and tires.  If it catches on, they may give me a Jeep as a thank you.  I'll take mine without the pumpkin spice, please.

As an adult, one of the things I enjoy most about Autumn is the cooler weather.  I was never bothered by playing football, or soccer when it was 100° outside.  Now, even as an adult, if I'm invited to play soccer, I will happily join, although I can't run as long, as fast, or stay in the heat all day like I could in years past.  In general, the older I get, the more the heat bothers me.  And when the crispness of the Fall air begins to show, I find myself with a little more pep in my step.

Autumn also means we can sit outside occasionally in the evenings.  Generally, there are fewer bugs around, although it can also mean they are trying to find their way into our warm home.  I can sometimes drive with the windows down on the truck, which is great since my AC is getting temperamental in its old age.  And we can open the house windows in the evening for fresh air.  And the smell of fireplaces in the air puts a smile on my face.

So, in spite of the temperature being in the mid-nineties today, I know the cooler weather is just around the corner.  And with it, Halloween, fireplaces, open windows and Christmas.  And Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

War on the Blue?

So lately, there has been a call for the shooting of police officers.

I just want to make sure I understand.  Thugs who break the law, and assault a police officer are victims when the officer is forced to defend himself?

Fair enough.

So if you are one of those who decide you want to go against law enforcement, and want a target put on officers, that is your choice.

But if you are going to make that decision, you need to consider a couple of things.

1. When you wake in the middle of the night to thugs kicking in your front door to steal or kill your family, do not dial 911.  If you hate the police, you have no right to call on them when you need help. Call the drug dealer or gang member, and let them come to your aid.

2.  If you are willing to assault a police officer, know that there may be someone like me nearby, who will NOT stand idly by, waiting for you to finish the job.  You will quickly find yourself outnumbered, fighting those willing to fight to the death to defend our brothers and sisters in blue.

3.  You are the minority in this war.

There are millions of us who appreciate the work the police do day in and day out.  Are there some officers who are racist?  Probably.  But the vast majority of officers are honest, good men and women who uphold the law, regardless of the color of a person's skin.  And those of us who recognize that are highly offended by those of you who wish to do them harm.

To the men and women in blue: know that you have a lot of people on your side.

You don't know who I am.  You may never notice me.  I'm the one at the gas pump next to you, looking all around, just to make sure there are no potential threats to you.  I am the one parked outside the grocery store, waiting for my wife, also diligently watching the rest of the lot.  I thank God daily for you and the service you provide.  I pray for you daily, and that you will return to your family safely after your shift.  And I am sorry for the difficulties you face every day in a job that is already the most stressful.

I will forever watch out for you, wherever I am.

I am in your corner.

I have your six.

And I am not alone.

Becoming an Ephesians Kind of Husband

Ephesians 5:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

For the past year, I have been dealing with this issue.  We all know how we poke fun at this.  Men quote Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord.  And for many years, I was bothered that it didn't seem many women submitted to their husbands.  In fact, the last twenty years has seen men too often portrayed as bumbling fools.  How many commercials show a man trying to do something, and the wife comes to his rescue?  When did we decide that men had to be rescued because we were incapable of knowing how to do the simplest things?

But I digress...

I'm not a tough, macho kind of man.  I love playing sports, shooting, wrestling with my dog, and until recently, participated in a Krav Maga class.  (If you are unfamiliar, you can Google it).  So I'm not a wimp, certainly.  But I speak softly, and very seldom find anything worth arguing over.  I act like an idiot most of the time to make people laugh.  So if you were to walk into a room, and look for a man who would make a strong leader, you would likely look past me to someone taller, stronger and tougher looking.

Why would my wife submit to me?  If I were taller, stronger, louder, more assertive...more of a leader......

Blah, blah, blah.

I spent so many years wishing I could be someone else.  "If I looked like he does, my wife would love me more; respect me more," etc.

I began studying the Bible again for my own purposes.  From time to time, I would just bounce around and focus on certain areas.  Other times, I would find it hard to decide what I wanted to study.  It was during on of those time, I decided to just open the Bible and let it fall open.  It went to Ephesians 5.

"Well, that's dumb," I thought.  "I've studied that."

I wanted something different.  But something told me to really study it.  So I started reading through it quickly, knowing I knew the text.  I had taught it at least a couple of times in different ways.  And I taught it the way I feel it needed to be taught.

When discussing the Garden of Eden, we men tend to joke about Eve being the reason life is so hard.  But I think we all understand that she was tempted first.  Adam certainly would have also fallen if Satan had gone to him first.  And Adam willingly strayed.  Adam was held accountable.

So in teaching Ephesians 5, I had taught about how we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her.  I know if it ever comes down to it, I will absolutely step in front of my wife to take a bullet to save her.  But what God began to reveal to me was much harder than that.

Harder than taking a bullet?  What could possibly be harder than that?

Living it.

As I taught this years ago, I tried to focus on being the type of man my wife would want to submit to.  I began truly praying for holiness.  I truly started seeking God to lead me in even the smallest things.  And I began to feel differently.  But something was still not right.  My relationship with my wife.

We don't fight.  We don't argue even, really.  There have been a couple of times, but overall, it feels like a pretty peaceful place.  But I kept going back to Ephesians 5.  For months, I kept wondering what God was trying to tell me.  I thought I was doing this right.  But He began to open my eyes to a deeper meaning in the words.

"...love your wife, as Christ loved the church...."

Yes, I understood.  Christ gave His life for the church.  I'm willing to do that.

"...love your wife, as Christ loves you...."

Okay.  Christ gave His life for me.  I'm willing...

"...love Dawn, as I have loved you..."

I've taken a couple of IQ tests (and not the silly ten question ones).  My scores were between 137 and 143.  So I don't consider myself ignorant.  But it still took awhile.  I began to really think about how Christ loves me.  I had to stop there.  I couldn't even consider loving my wife until I truly understood how He loved me.

That was eye opening in itself.  Yes, I know all of the Sunday School answers about God's love for me.  But I've never really understood it.  I tend to bash myself with "if you were better", or "God loves you, but"...  I found myself at the end of the day, realizing I had failed again, in one way or another.  Someone I was supposed to talk to, or something I wasn't supposed to do.  Irritation and bitterness over the situation at work.  Realizing that I hadn't been a "good Christian" that day left me wondering why God would choose to love me at all.

Yet, I know that Jesus Himself prays for me.

John 17:20 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word..."

Jesus was praying for His disciples, and also for those (us) who believe in Him through their (the disciples') word.

In spite of how I fail, Christ prays for me.  He stands before God to intercede when Satan accuses me.  The difference between me and Job is when Satan accuses me, he's absolutely right.

"God, look how Laron......"

Guilty as charged.

And Jesus answers that He has already paid for that.

I don't understand it, but I'll accept it.  It must hurt Christ horribly when I blatantly disregard His word.  When I go against His will.  When I ignore Him.  When I choose to follow my own path instead of His wiser, more loving way.  He died a death I can't fathom, to offer me a life with Him. Because He loves me.  And no matter how many times I fail, He is always there; loving me; praying for me.

Wow.

Revelation received.

This may come as a shock, but I married an imperfect woman.  Which is okay, because I'm far from a perfect man.

"...love Dawn as I love you..."

My biggest failure as a husband?  Being married for 16 years before realizing this.

When my wife does something that hurts me, I am not to try to punish her, or feel negatively toward her.  I am to love her.  I am to help her.  I am to pray for her.

Really?  It's okay when she accidentally forgets some little thing.  But I have to pray for her when she willingly does something she knows will hurt me?

"...love Dawn as I love you..."

I don't want to ever lose the love of Christ.  The Bible tells me it is impossible.  But I know I can choose to live outside His will for me.  And I don't ever want to lose the knowledge that He is praying for me, even when I have failed.

So I must be willing to love my wife the same way.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me in a way I cannot comprehend.  Thank you for being willing to leave your home in Heaven to live in a fallen world.  For teaching us your way.  And most of all, for your grace and patience with one of your most stubborn pupils.  Thank you for praying for me even when I go astray.  Teach me every day to love my wife as you love me.