My Day in Court

Writing as a Christian, I know I have accepted Christ's blood as a payment for my sin.  I have been accepted into His family, without spot or blemish.  Christ has made payment for my sin with His atoning death.  It is faith in Him, and what He has done for me that help me get through so many trials in this life.  So what happens at the end of my life?

I'm in court, and I'm accused of all kinds of crimes.  The prosecuting attorney is a being by the name of Lucifer.  And he's good.  He somehow knows everything I've ever done.  He approaches the judge with evidence of every crime I have ever committed from the time I was born.

I know I'm guilty.  My attorney knows I'm guilty.  The judge and jury know I'm guilty.  There is no refuting the evidence that has been shown.  My mind races with excuses.

"But my mother was mean to me.  I was bullied.  At least I wasn't as bad as...."

It's no use.  There are no excuses.  I knew what I was doing.  And so many times, I had that little voice, telling me not to do it.  But I didn't care.  In that moment, I wanted to disobey.  There had been something exciting about being bad.  And here I was, on trial for so many things.  I don't dare look around the room.  I keep my eyes on my fidgeting feet.  I don't want to see the anger and hurt in everyone's eyes.

My attorney puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me everything will be okay.

How can he say that, I wonder.  Everyone knows I did all of those things.

"In light of the evidence," continues Lucifer, "I submit that this man is worthy of the death penalty."

Gasps spread throughout the courtroom.

"And," he continues, "he is also worthy of incarceration in a place created for the eternal punishment for all who are guilty of such crimes."

Death.

The word hits a lot harder than I expected.  I'm not really sure why.  I knew that's what he was going to try for.  My attorney had already told me that, and "prepared me" for the outcome.

How could I be prepared for this?  

Death.  

I know I deserve it.  

Death.  

Why did I do all those stupid things?  If I had only....

My attorney looks at me and manages a small smile.  But I can see the pain in his eyes.

Lucifer pauses, as he looks at me for a moment.  There is a small smile there as well.  And there is a gleam in his eye that cuts through my very soul.

Panic wells deep inside, and I can feel myself losing hope.  The hot, prickly sensation starts around my eyes, and quickly spreads to the rest of my face.

He's got me.  He knows it.  It's over.

"The prosecution rests," Lucifer says, and he sits down smugly.

He's won, I think to myself.  My attorney told me to trust him.  He said it would all be okay.  I had told him about the things I had done.  He assured me he would take care of it.  But the prosecution had brought up things I had not told my attorney about.  Things I had never told anyone.  Things I had forgotten I had even done.  

I had disappointed so many people.  I had hurt so many people.  I had failed the one chance I had been given at this thing called life.  And now I was about to hear my attorney plead my case.  But what could he say?  There was no excusing my behavior.  I had known better.  Sure, there were the little white lies that had been told.  So what?  And there were countless others that I had excused because "everyone did them."  But some of the that were brought out into the light in the courtroom were so hideous, I just knew everyone there must hate me.

The judge looks at me for a moment.  Is that contempt in his eye?  Pity?  Disgust?  Wrath?

My attorney rises.

Here we go.

"Father," He begins, "this is my child.  I have chosen him.  You have chosen him.  He is ours.  And I have already paid the price, and taken the punishment for his sin."

"Objection, Your Honor," Lucifer interrupts, quickly standing.

The majestic Judge looks at Lucifer.

"Overruled," He says.  

"But Your Honor," Lucifer tries again, "he also..."

"Silence!" The Judge says.

His voice fills the courtroom with the sound of a thousand thunders.  Like sitting next to the speakers at a too-loud concert, the deep resonance vibrates every cell in my body.  Suddenly, I see The Judge surrounded by an aura of light that I had never even comprehended.  It fills the courtroom with such magnificence that it must be shining right through the walls, and filling the entire universe.

The Judge looks at me, and suddenly, I understand the look in His eyes.  It isn't pity or wrath, only... it is.  And it was every other feeling I had ever known.  And they are all bundled together, and wrapped up completely in love.

I suddenly understood what I had heard, but never knew until that very moment.  His contempt was for the sin, not for me.  His wrath was against the disobedience I had lived.  But right then, when He looked at me, I could see that love had conquered the sin.  His wrath had already been expressed.  It had been poured out on my Attorney over two thousand years ago.  The love is so deep and so true, I can no longer stand.

I'm aware of my body going prostrate before Him.  Although it seem involuntary, I wouldn't fight it even if I thought I could.  As I glance over, I see the entire room has joined me.  Including the prosecution table.  But their reactions are different.

Deep growling sounds now leave the mouth of the sharp dressed attorney.  He looks at me, and the hatred in his eyes sends a shudder down my spine.   Guttural hissing sounds are thrown my way, and I would be terrified if it weren't for one thing.  My Attorney stands between me and the horrid creature being forced to his knees by an unseen force.  This Attorney had been so calm through everything, I often wondered if He would be tough enough to do me any good.  And in this wonderful, terrible moment, He still stood so calmly, and serenely.  It filled me with a peace I have never known.

And I understand.

It had been explained to me many times.  That God was a judge, requiring me to be punished, and Jesus came and rescued me.  God sent Jesus to pay the price.  God loved me.  He isn't a terrible being, hoping to crush us, and only allowing grace because of what Christ did on the cross.  He is a loving, merciful God who wants us to spend our eternities in the beautiful place He has prepared for us.

Don't misunderstand...He is also a just God.  And sin will not be tolerated.  Without the blood of Christ, who offered Himself as a sacrifice to atone for our sin, we are lost.  Separated from God for eternity.

But this trial wasn't for God to judge me.  It wasn't for a jury to decide if I was guilty or innocent.  Everyone knew I was guilty.  It wasn't to decide on a punishment.  The punishment was already decided.  Eternity in Hell.  Separated eternally from the loving God who had created me.  But that price was paid when Christ died on the cross.  He endured the wrath of God as a punishment for my sin.

This trial wasn't even for me to see how much God loved me, or show His mercy.

This trial was to once again put Satan in his place.

My eternity is secured.

Your day in the courtroom is coming.

Who is your attorney?

Becoming an Ephesians Kind of Husband

Ephesians 5:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

For the past year, I have been dealing with this issue.  We all know how we poke fun at this.  Men quote Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord.  And for many years, I was bothered that it didn't seem many women submitted to their husbands.  In fact, the last twenty years has seen men too often portrayed as bumbling fools.  How many commercials show a man trying to do something, and the wife comes to his rescue?  When did we decide that men had to be rescued because we were incapable of knowing how to do the simplest things?

But I digress...

I'm not a tough, macho kind of man.  I love playing sports, shooting, wrestling with my dog, and until recently, participated in a Krav Maga class.  (If you are unfamiliar, you can Google it).  So I'm not a wimp, certainly.  But I speak softly, and very seldom find anything worth arguing over.  I act like an idiot most of the time to make people laugh.  So if you were to walk into a room, and look for a man who would make a strong leader, you would likely look past me to someone taller, stronger and tougher looking.

Why would my wife submit to me?  If I were taller, stronger, louder, more assertive...more of a leader......

Blah, blah, blah.

I spent so many years wishing I could be someone else.  "If I looked like he does, my wife would love me more; respect me more," etc.

I began studying the Bible again for my own purposes.  From time to time, I would just bounce around and focus on certain areas.  Other times, I would find it hard to decide what I wanted to study.  It was during on of those time, I decided to just open the Bible and let it fall open.  It went to Ephesians 5.

"Well, that's dumb," I thought.  "I've studied that."

I wanted something different.  But something told me to really study it.  So I started reading through it quickly, knowing I knew the text.  I had taught it at least a couple of times in different ways.  And I taught it the way I feel it needed to be taught.

When discussing the Garden of Eden, we men tend to joke about Eve being the reason life is so hard.  But I think we all understand that she was tempted first.  Adam certainly would have also fallen if Satan had gone to him first.  And Adam willingly strayed.  Adam was held accountable.

So in teaching Ephesians 5, I had taught about how we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her.  I know if it ever comes down to it, I will absolutely step in front of my wife to take a bullet to save her.  But what God began to reveal to me was much harder than that.

Harder than taking a bullet?  What could possibly be harder than that?

Living it.

As I taught this years ago, I tried to focus on being the type of man my wife would want to submit to.  I began truly praying for holiness.  I truly started seeking God to lead me in even the smallest things.  And I began to feel differently.  But something was still not right.  My relationship with my wife.

We don't fight.  We don't argue even, really.  There have been a couple of times, but overall, it feels like a pretty peaceful place.  But I kept going back to Ephesians 5.  For months, I kept wondering what God was trying to tell me.  I thought I was doing this right.  But He began to open my eyes to a deeper meaning in the words.

"...love your wife, as Christ loved the church...."

Yes, I understood.  Christ gave His life for the church.  I'm willing to do that.

"...love your wife, as Christ loves you...."

Okay.  Christ gave His life for me.  I'm willing...

"...love Dawn, as I have loved you..."

I've taken a couple of IQ tests (and not the silly ten question ones).  My scores were between 137 and 143.  So I don't consider myself ignorant.  But it still took awhile.  I began to really think about how Christ loves me.  I had to stop there.  I couldn't even consider loving my wife until I truly understood how He loved me.

That was eye opening in itself.  Yes, I know all of the Sunday School answers about God's love for me.  But I've never really understood it.  I tend to bash myself with "if you were better", or "God loves you, but"...  I found myself at the end of the day, realizing I had failed again, in one way or another.  Someone I was supposed to talk to, or something I wasn't supposed to do.  Irritation and bitterness over the situation at work.  Realizing that I hadn't been a "good Christian" that day left me wondering why God would choose to love me at all.

Yet, I know that Jesus Himself prays for me.

John 17:20 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word..."

Jesus was praying for His disciples, and also for those (us) who believe in Him through their (the disciples') word.

In spite of how I fail, Christ prays for me.  He stands before God to intercede when Satan accuses me.  The difference between me and Job is when Satan accuses me, he's absolutely right.

"God, look how Laron......"

Guilty as charged.

And Jesus answers that He has already paid for that.

I don't understand it, but I'll accept it.  It must hurt Christ horribly when I blatantly disregard His word.  When I go against His will.  When I ignore Him.  When I choose to follow my own path instead of His wiser, more loving way.  He died a death I can't fathom, to offer me a life with Him. Because He loves me.  And no matter how many times I fail, He is always there; loving me; praying for me.

Wow.

Revelation received.

This may come as a shock, but I married an imperfect woman.  Which is okay, because I'm far from a perfect man.

"...love Dawn as I love you..."

My biggest failure as a husband?  Being married for 16 years before realizing this.

When my wife does something that hurts me, I am not to try to punish her, or feel negatively toward her.  I am to love her.  I am to help her.  I am to pray for her.

Really?  It's okay when she accidentally forgets some little thing.  But I have to pray for her when she willingly does something she knows will hurt me?

"...love Dawn as I love you..."

I don't want to ever lose the love of Christ.  The Bible tells me it is impossible.  But I know I can choose to live outside His will for me.  And I don't ever want to lose the knowledge that He is praying for me, even when I have failed.

So I must be willing to love my wife the same way.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me in a way I cannot comprehend.  Thank you for being willing to leave your home in Heaven to live in a fallen world.  For teaching us your way.  And most of all, for your grace and patience with one of your most stubborn pupils.  Thank you for praying for me even when I go astray.  Teach me every day to love my wife as you love me.

Thou, Oh LORD Are a Shield For Me

Yesterday was one of “those days”. 

The day before yesterday, during lunch, I was going through some of my old file folders and cleaning up.  I came across a folder of old choir songs.  I created a playlist for them, so I could listen to them while I’m playing with my square pegs. 

Yesterday, I was frustrated for a myriad of reasons.  Actually, frustration doesn't accurately describe how I was feeling.  I was far past frustrated.  I felt angry.  I cried out to God, even though I certainly did not feel like praying.  Most of you know that feeling.  You need help, but you’re angry and frustrated, and don’t want to pray.

How dumb is that? 

It’s like having a car that has a grinding sound from the engine, but instead of getting it to a mechanic, who can diagnose and fix it, we would rather just be angry and complain.

But I began praying (which can be interpreted as angrily griping about my situation).  Thank you, God, for being such a loving, patient Father to your spoiled little children.

As I was praying, I felt the still small voice tell me to listen to some music, and keep working on the square pegs.  So I did what any “good” Christian who desires to serve and honor his Father does.  I continued to complain.  I did not “feel like” listening to music.

After a moment, I gave up, and opened Media Player on my computer.  There were my playlists:

·         Choir

·         Bible (the entire Bible in audio format)

·         Country

·         Rock (exactly what it sounds like)

·         Uplifting (Contemporary Christian music)

If I was going to listen to anything, I was in the mood for rock.  But I found myself kicking off the Choir list.

And the music started.

Still angry…

Still frustrated…

Still didn’t want to listen to anything, much less Choir songs…

Thou, Oh Lord

Many are they increased that troubled me
Many are they that rise up against me
Many there be which say of my soul
There is no help for him in God

But Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

I cried unto the Lord with my voice
And he heard me out of His holy hill
I laid me down and slept and awaked
For the Lord sustained, for he sustained me

Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, oh Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

I soon found myself singing along. 

Music speaks to me in a way the spoken word never will.  And there were so many songs I loved singing in choir.  This was close to the top of the list.  As I silently sang my way through the song, I began to tear up as I hit the bridge.

I cried unto the Lord with my voice
And he heard me out of His holy hill
I laid me down and slept and awaked
For the Lord sustained, for he sustained me

And for some reason, I began to feel peace…

After the song ended, I played it again.  As the song neared the same spot, I felt it even stronger.  As I was crying to the LORD with my voice, He heard me.  And He was telling me that He would sustain me. 

I can’t explain the peace of God.  I don’t often feel it this strongly.  Deep inside, I know everything will be okay.  But in the midst of trials, I too often feel alone, and abandoned.  His word promises me I will never be that.  Ever.  This was one time He chose to sooth my anger with His gentle peace almost immediately.

If you have experienced that peace before, then you understand what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t, I could try all day to explain it, and you still wouldn't truly understand.

I don’t deserve for the God of all creation to take the time to worry about my little problems.  And please understand what I’m saying.  When He does, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me being worth anything.  It is always ALL about His unfailing love.  His mercy.  His grace.  Why He chooses to bestow it on my during the times I’m most unlovable is something I will never understand this side of heaven. 

But I’ll gladly take it any time He chooses to give it.

No idea what I’m talking about? 

For God so loved the world….

You’ve all heard it…most of you can quote it.  

But do you believe it?  And does it make a difference in your life?

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female He created them. – Genesis 1:27

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. – Psalm 139:14

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. – Proverbs 16:9

How often have we looked in the mirror, and decided we weren’t happy with what we saw?  How often have we told God we aren’t happy with who we are?  How many times have we grumbled that we didn’t have the gifts someone else had?  How many times have we felt inferior because we didn’t think we were good enough; smart enough; strong enough?

All power rests in God’s hands.  He certainly could have made me 6’4” handsome, strong and smart.  But He (in His infinite wisdom that I too often distrust or second guess) created me to be exactly what I am.  I have spent a lot of time over my life wondering what it would be like to be different.  To have the strength I wish I had.  To be smarter that I am.  To be taller, better looking, more outgoing, etc.  Yet I get out of bed most mornings, struggle to get through a day, and wish things were different.

But where would I be? 

Maybe in a nicer house, with less money issues, a better job, etc. 

But if I were not exactly who I am (and who I have been, where I have been, when I have been there), the blessings I have been given may have been missed.

I wouldn’t trade all I have wished I were for what I have now.

Thank you, God, for making me who I am.  Help me to hear your voice; feel your presence, and trust your spirit.  Make me who you have created me to be.  Erase all of what I think I should be, or wish I were.  Thank you for the gifts I have.  Help me to use them the way you intended.  Make this New Year a year of following you closer than I ever have.  Living for you, as you guide my steps to make a difference in the world through me and my life.

Hosea 13

Does God really hate idolatry?


Exodus 20:3 tells us “you shall have no other gods before Me.”

Seems pretty clear, doesn’t it?

And today, at the beginning of 2013, it is easy for us to read that and think, “I don’t have to worry about that. I don’t worship idols.”

Usually, when we think about an idol, we get a picture of a specific object. It can be anything from a golden calf to a little statue on our desk or shelf. But it can also be other things that we don’t like to think about as idols.

Our jobs; the money we bring in; our boat; our cabin at the lake; our summer house in Colorado; and even our families. We can, in fact, become our own idols.

How so?

What, exactly, is an idol?

It is anything that takes priority over God. God is a God of love, but He is also holy. And He is just. He demands our loyalty to Him. So if we choose to disobey Him, (and that includes NOT obeying something He has asked us to do), because of someone or something else, we have made that an idol. If we trust in ourselves to fix our problems, or make our own way, we are making ourselves an idol. We are to depend on Him, and to trust Him for all of our needs.

“But I have a good job, making good money. Am I not supposed to take care of myself?”

How did you get the job?

“Well, I have a great set of skills that allowed me to get the job.”

Where did the skills come from?

I’ve made all of the arguments myself. And I keep going until I am forced to realize that without Him, I don’t have the strength or ability to even exist. EVERYTHING I have is from Him.

So how strongly does God feel about idols?

Read Hosea 13. Actually, there are hundreds of verses about idolatry. But if you read Hosea, pay special attention to verses 4-8.

“But I have been the LORD your God ever since you came out of Egypt. You shall acknowledge no God but me, no Savior except me. I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of burning heat. When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me. So I will be like a lion to them, like a leopard I will lurk by the path. Like a bear robbed of her cubs, I will attack them and rip them open; like a lion I will devour them— a wild animal will tear them apart.

God, through Hosea, tells them He was the one who cared for them during their wanderings. There is a pattern that the children of Israel follow.

Alexander Tytler wrote about the circle:

“From bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage.”

And it’s easy to point our fingers at them and talk about how foolish they were. But we do the exact same thing.

God rescues us from our despair, and we thank Him briefly before putting him back on the shelf, and go our way. If He blesses us, we begin to trust our blessings, and not the One who gave them. We become complacent because He has given us abundance. And we begin to trust our blessings, which in turn become our idols.

It’s interesting the phrases Hosea gives. “Like a bear robbed of her cubs, I will attack them and rip them open;...”

Black bears are docile by nature. They will normally shy away from people. But if you are wandering in the woods, and you happen across a mother bear with her cubs, you are in a dangerous situation. She will defend her cubs with her very life if necessary.  And she will likley rip you open.  God doesn't candy-coat how he feels about idolatry.

God is telling us that we are His children…his cubs if you will. He will destroy the idols that vie for our attention.

In 1 Samuel, chapter 5, the Philistines captured the ark after a battle with Israel. They took it back to their temple, and set it in front of Dagon (their “god”). The next morning, Dagon was face down in front of the ark. God will destroy idols. If we are holding on to them too tightly, we are likely to be injured in the process.  And we will stand accountable for our decision to make anything an idol.

Are there idols in your life? Is there anything that you put before, or value more than, God? Don’t be fooled by telling yourself that you are okay, or that God will look the other way. There are consequences to disobedience. And loving something more than Him will be dealt with by a Holy God.